#NowNovember17: Kia Richardson

Hello Scribes,

In #NowNovember17 I have learned the value of bravery from those who have contributed to this series. Writing through or about pain and transition is not easy but it gets easier with time and practice. 

Kia Richardson is not a stranger to writing her story or talking about her survival from intimate partner violence. She hosts events like #DenimandLemonade through her non profit organization No More Blows. In #NowNovember16 she wrote about independence . Here is another extension of her story (EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS):

Kia A. Richardson is the mother of two wonderful daughters.
She is the Founder of No More Blows and an advocate for all things "woman."
"I simply enjoy seeing women walk in total healing."

#NowNovember17 I want to about sexual abuse. I am a survivor of this very sensitive, yet popular topic. Right now we have actors, congressmen and pastors currently standing in the limelight accused of the very act we are so quiet about.

#NowNovember17 I want to talk about being robbed of the very precious gift given to all little girls at birth – virginity. This is the one thing a girl is supposed to have until she is ready to give it up. She is supposed to have this amazing story of how she saved it for marriage, waited until her prom night or some other choice SHE had to give it away.

What about those of US who will NEVER have a story of choice? Our story is more of a story of robbery. You never looked at it as robbery did you?

Let’s define the root word rob (v.) - (used with object), robbed, robbing. - to take something from (someone) by unlawful force or threat of violence; steal from.

Do you see what I see?

Is it safe to say if your teenage babysitter makes the choice for you that you can consider it robbery?  

I was ten years old when he thought enough of me to TAKE my virginity. He did NOT understand the value of this precious gift inside of me. He had NO concept of how my virginity story became one of shame, embarrassment and resentment. As a result I hated to hear the stories of those who had a CHOICE. I wanted a story of a guy who made me smile, someone I was in love with who took me on a date. It was that story I wanted, that experience of giving myself away that I didn't get.

Instead of romance he placed his hand over my mouth, jammed himself inside of me and whispered, “You can’t tell anyone about this.” I believed him for several reasons, 1.) our mothers were childhood friends from elementary school and 2.) I never wanted to ruin their lifelong friendship. As a child how could I describe the violation to adults or even start the conversation?

Unsure and ashamed I endured the repeated actions. I HATED the weekends and often prayed for my Mommy to go back to first shift. My sexual abuser may not be a pastor, actor or a politician; the pain is still real and common for many young girls and boys. Did you know that 90% of child victims are targeted by someone they trust, or know? That should raise your eyebrows and make you want to have the conversation with people around you.

Are you aware of the signs of sexual abuse?

I remember being called “fast” by teachers and adults. While I was a lot more curious than my peers, I had a reason for my curiosity that the adults would never understand. Why didn’t they have a private conversation instead of embarrassing me when they didn’t understand my actions? I was a child! Would I have I had trusted one of them enough to share this secret? I guess we will never know the answer to the question. 

#NowNovember17 let me give you a few to things to think about:

1. My abuser will never serve jail time; he is still guilty of robbing me.
2. I will never receive a six-figure settlement from my abuser.
3. God heals all wounds and pain.

I have found God to be faithful and just in all of His promises. God promises to be a comforter, peace giver and lifter of our heads. He has done all of that for me. I am able to write this without tears because God has healed a dark place in my life. He took the ashes and gave me beauty.

#NowNovember17, believe that GOD will do the same for you and your loved ones who have been robbed. I read the following two passages of scripture often to remind me of two things, first I am NOT the only victim of such robbery and secondly all things will work together: 2 Samuel 13 and Romans 8:28.

I pray after reading this you will understand the heart of a survivor and have compassion when you hear such stories.

Survivor Tells All,
Kia A. Richardson

Thank you Kia for your bravery. May we all find a way to look through the eyes of grace when we encounter people, we never know their story.

#NowNovember17,