Hello Scribes,
Let me admit that it is easy to write 30 days straight when nothing significant is happening in your life. When you schedule is consistent and your eyes meet sleep, writing can be a priority. When you constantly check your phone for updates or find yourself being a leaning post for other people, it is challenging to put pen to paper. In those moments you don't want to write through the pain.
This #InscribeMe challenge was created the last two weeks of March. I had no idea that I was going to be slammed with circumstances that would literally force me to watch my life change in front of my eyes. Every day the topic has been relevant to what I was experiencing that day. It's not a coincidence, it was a set up to help me walk through InscribeMe. I believe in the work I do as a Scribe Coach and writing though pain is not easy. Recently I have come to understand how important it is, how refreshing it can be, how powerful my tears are when they become words.
I did so well last week. Sitting still in one place I was able to think clearly and write but when I came back to reality that life continues to move, I didn't have the energy to bare my soul to the world but I knew there were people watching me walk through this. So, thanks for not giving up on me Scribes. I needed to catch my breath, to reflect and write to myself. Now that I have gained renewed strength, it is time to pick up the pen again.
Hopefully during my break you were able to catch up. We are on day 14, I am combining 12 and 13. The topic is, "What causes you concern (Day 12) and why do you write (Day 13)?"
Dear Doctor who took care of my mother but didn't care about her as a person,
I am writing this letter of concern because I hope to inspire future doctors and nurses to love their job. You didn't appear to me that you do and I am concerned by your treatment of my mother and future patients who may come to you with an expectation to live. I don't fault you for my mother's condition, but I fault you for speaking a timeline over her. Every time you came into the room I saw the change in her demeanor. A few times she had excruciating pains after seeing you and at in total silence trying to process your words. You never saw that, you never really seemed to see her.
If shock had not stolen my tongue I would have given you a verbal lashing for speaking these words, "You can do what you want, I don't care." Then you got on your phone, played with it for a few minutes while we sat silently and made a joke about no one being able to hide from cell phones. You don't care? We wanted to know if we could use clove oil to soothe her pain. But you are her doctor, you didn't care. Hmm. That concerns me.
She trusted you doctor who took care of my mother but didn't care about her as a person. She literally put her life into your hands, leaning on every word, every diagnosis, every prescription, every piece of advice you gave her. You came highly recommended, she didn't seek a second opinion. Mommy leaned on your expertise and your knowledge. You took advantage of that trust and operated with a God complex that elevated you above us. She wanted me to meet you so I took off work, traveled several hours to accompany her to your office. You seemed nice to me but looking back, I remember now that there was no warmth in your voice. Did you really care or was she just an appointment you had to get through? I am concerned that so many people in my life have cancer and that there could be doctors just like you who are treating them.
Are we entrusting our family members to people who have no concern about their well-being?
Are they experimenting on them with medications?
Are they listening to their concerns?
Consoling them if they cry because the news is so heavy?
I pray so doctor who took care of my mother but didn't care about her as a person. I have to believe that God has appointed brilliant doctors who are also compassionate to do His work. You sir, are not one of them in my eyes.
I wonder about you Doctor who took care of my mother but didn't care about her as a person, do you have feelings? Do you have a good relationship with your own mother? I mean, the woman lying in that bed has been with me for 42 years. She is a gem to us, the bloodline who gave me and my siblings life. She is my daddy's queen, his rib who fought for our family. She has grandchildren too. The woman you gave time lines to was not just a number to us, and your time lines scared her, they devastated us. Thank you doctor who took care of my mother but didn't care about her as a person, you lost hope and gave up on a treasure. We have not given up on her, but she trusted you and you changed her with your words.
As I sat in the hospital with my mom last week I met and interacted with several people from the medical community who were wonderful. They cried with us, consoled us, cared about us and our mother. They called her by her name and spoke softly while leaning on their knees to talk to her. You doctor who took care of my mother but didn't care about her as a person, did not do that. Now, she is resting comfortably in hospice and your lack of concern for her in my eyes concerns me. I write this because I hope that a future doctor or nurse reads this and feels the pain of a daughter who is losing her mother to cancer. I hope that they know my family is crying real tears every day because somebody we love is hurting and we can't stop it.
So doctor who took care of my mother but did not care about her as a person, one day I hope you meet someone who pulls on your heart strings so much that you remember how you treated my mother and everyone else like her. One of your patients is going to teach you how to treat people as people. If they don't I pray that your heart is softened and made tender by your love for your own family.
#InscribeMe
Let me admit that it is easy to write 30 days straight when nothing significant is happening in your life. When you schedule is consistent and your eyes meet sleep, writing can be a priority. When you constantly check your phone for updates or find yourself being a leaning post for other people, it is challenging to put pen to paper. In those moments you don't want to write through the pain.
This #InscribeMe challenge was created the last two weeks of March. I had no idea that I was going to be slammed with circumstances that would literally force me to watch my life change in front of my eyes. Every day the topic has been relevant to what I was experiencing that day. It's not a coincidence, it was a set up to help me walk through InscribeMe. I believe in the work I do as a Scribe Coach and writing though pain is not easy. Recently I have come to understand how important it is, how refreshing it can be, how powerful my tears are when they become words.
I did so well last week. Sitting still in one place I was able to think clearly and write but when I came back to reality that life continues to move, I didn't have the energy to bare my soul to the world but I knew there were people watching me walk through this. So, thanks for not giving up on me Scribes. I needed to catch my breath, to reflect and write to myself. Now that I have gained renewed strength, it is time to pick up the pen again.
Hopefully during my break you were able to catch up. We are on day 14, I am combining 12 and 13. The topic is, "What causes you concern (Day 12) and why do you write (Day 13)?"
 |
| A sculpture in a hospital in Dayton, Ohio. Every time I passed it I thought about being unpluckable. We all are and this, is inscribed in metal to remind us. |
Dear Doctor who took care of my mother but didn't care about her as a person,
I am writing this letter of concern because I hope to inspire future doctors and nurses to love their job. You didn't appear to me that you do and I am concerned by your treatment of my mother and future patients who may come to you with an expectation to live. I don't fault you for my mother's condition, but I fault you for speaking a timeline over her. Every time you came into the room I saw the change in her demeanor. A few times she had excruciating pains after seeing you and at in total silence trying to process your words. You never saw that, you never really seemed to see her.
If shock had not stolen my tongue I would have given you a verbal lashing for speaking these words, "You can do what you want, I don't care." Then you got on your phone, played with it for a few minutes while we sat silently and made a joke about no one being able to hide from cell phones. You don't care? We wanted to know if we could use clove oil to soothe her pain. But you are her doctor, you didn't care. Hmm. That concerns me.
She trusted you doctor who took care of my mother but didn't care about her as a person. She literally put her life into your hands, leaning on every word, every diagnosis, every prescription, every piece of advice you gave her. You came highly recommended, she didn't seek a second opinion. Mommy leaned on your expertise and your knowledge. You took advantage of that trust and operated with a God complex that elevated you above us. She wanted me to meet you so I took off work, traveled several hours to accompany her to your office. You seemed nice to me but looking back, I remember now that there was no warmth in your voice. Did you really care or was she just an appointment you had to get through? I am concerned that so many people in my life have cancer and that there could be doctors just like you who are treating them.
Are we entrusting our family members to people who have no concern about their well-being?
Are they experimenting on them with medications?
Are they listening to their concerns?
Consoling them if they cry because the news is so heavy?
I pray so doctor who took care of my mother but didn't care about her as a person. I have to believe that God has appointed brilliant doctors who are also compassionate to do His work. You sir, are not one of them in my eyes.
I wonder about you Doctor who took care of my mother but didn't care about her as a person, do you have feelings? Do you have a good relationship with your own mother? I mean, the woman lying in that bed has been with me for 42 years. She is a gem to us, the bloodline who gave me and my siblings life. She is my daddy's queen, his rib who fought for our family. She has grandchildren too. The woman you gave time lines to was not just a number to us, and your time lines scared her, they devastated us. Thank you doctor who took care of my mother but didn't care about her as a person, you lost hope and gave up on a treasure. We have not given up on her, but she trusted you and you changed her with your words.
As I sat in the hospital with my mom last week I met and interacted with several people from the medical community who were wonderful. They cried with us, consoled us, cared about us and our mother. They called her by her name and spoke softly while leaning on their knees to talk to her. You doctor who took care of my mother but didn't care about her as a person, did not do that. Now, she is resting comfortably in hospice and your lack of concern for her in my eyes concerns me. I write this because I hope that a future doctor or nurse reads this and feels the pain of a daughter who is losing her mother to cancer. I hope that they know my family is crying real tears every day because somebody we love is hurting and we can't stop it.
So doctor who took care of my mother but did not care about her as a person, one day I hope you meet someone who pulls on your heart strings so much that you remember how you treated my mother and everyone else like her. One of your patients is going to teach you how to treat people as people. If they don't I pray that your heart is softened and made tender by your love for your own family.
#InscribeMe
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