You will face many defeats in your life, but never let yourself be defeated.
-Maya Angelou
If you know me you would know that one of my dreams is to meet Maya Angelou (she gave me a voice). She is one of my writing sheroes along with Edwidge Danticat (she taught me about perseverance), Francesca Alexander (she taught me to find my hustle and glow), Laurie Beth Jones (she showed me how to find my path) and Jai Stone (she taught me about emotional nudity). I love the writing of these women because it is transparent, has healing and is making remarkable impacts on my life.
As I think about the fact that I am working to pursue some very important and personal goals I have found that part of my problem with not being successful is because I have not asked for help.
1.) being undiscovered as a writer because I didn't promote my books
2.) losing money in my business because I gave everything away instead of knowing my worth
3.) maintaining the weight I want to release because I really need an accountability partner
4.) managing money instead of understanding it because I didn't have an accountant.
5.) my family has been out of town this week, I was alone and happy with myself because loving myself and taking care of me is often neglected when they are home. (Don't tell them).
These are just a few examples of areas in my life where I have been alone. Being alone goes deeper than that. I read a story about a woman who had been deceased in her apartment for 3 years and no one knew. Who would know you are not around? Do you check in with someone on a regular basis? Solitary living can lead to negative self talk that keeps you isolated because you don't believe anyone cares when in reality you didn't let anyone know that you want them to care.
I had been alone and detested my position because I had not made myself available or vulnerable to anyone. No one wants to be seen as needy, especially not me, a minister's wife! But then I heard news stories of Pastors who committed suicide too, being alone isn't always where we find our victory. I think of King David in the Bible who ran away from Saul and hid in a cave. Alone. Don't you know that people who were wounded found him and hid with him? You would wonder how you can minister to, or encourage someone when you are broken, but in those times that is when you need to reach out to someone.
It is ironic that I verbalized my expectations for my dreams but never reached out. I think it has something to do with turning 40 in March that changed my entire paradigm about people, myself and my intended legacy. I don't have time to waste anymore, I have things to accomplish and as I say to my friend Paisha,
"IT's TIME to MANIFEST."
So today's challenge is two fold. First make a list of ways that you identify that you are alone whether good or bad. Second, write an acrostic poem using the word ALONE.
As I consider my unpluckability, I have overcome so much.
Love has sustained me and listened when I wasn't speaking.
Only when I was ready could I accept the gifts that are mine.
Now I want to walk into my greater
Everything is on time.
Girl, Pray for Me and remember, you are never really alone as long as someone knows your name.
PLJ
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