The Truth of My Existence: April 1, 2015

I am so excited for this #30DayScribe challenge. Writing and reading are such important facets of my life.

I want to thank Lesa Townsend for doing her 30 day blog challenge #30dbc. I have done it for a couple of years and last year I challenged Scribes to write for 30 days and gave a prize away to the lone person that sent me her writing every day. Lesa isn't doing it this year which gives me more motivation to keep writing. I will finish Lesa!

Let's get to it.----

I'm really hard on myself. 

I've been a perfectionist for so long that I had to relearn how to trust in the fact that God alone is omnipotent and does not need my help. Being a perfectionist is what got Martha scolded. Being a perfectionist is what led Lucifer to believe he could be God. Being a perfectionist has prevented me from giving myself 100% to goals in the past. You cannot be effective while pursuing your passion and worrying at the same time. Studies have shown that no one can be effective as a multi tasker.

I've spent a great majority of my life comparing myself to other people, trying to set standards for myself by what I see them doing. I am not a chameleon in word or deed. I am Penda. A chameleon is defined as "a person given to often expedient or failed change in ideas or character."
That means fake. That is the worst thing you can call somebody, fake. To me that means they are dishonest and liars get no respect from anyone.

When I take my eyes off of God, I lose focus and fall out of balance. Examples of that include trying to do too much in church ministry or community service. If I forget my mission,  I try to do too much and it doesn't feel right. I have held on to projects for years just because 8 didn't want to let other people down. The people in charge didn't care when I let them go and that confirmed how silly it is to try and be perfect.

So Scribe, what are you Not? Think about an animal that has characteristics like you and write a declaration about yourself. Call it, The Truth of my Existance.

Here is mine:
I am not a chameleon.
I am a vessel used by God. He can make me a funnel to bless others,  a sister, a mother figure,  a prayer warrior or a Scribe who bears her soul so others can be set free.
I am not a chameleon,  but God transforms me for His use.

I declare that I am authentic.
I will not hide behind other people's standards
for me or for themselves.
My steps are ordered by God; I will seek His face alone for direction.
Chameleons serve a purpose. Penda also has a purpose, to identify barriers which prevent people from actuating the God-given purpose in their lives.
I declare that this is the truth of my existance,  I know my worth and I will no longer hide.