#NowNovember: Gavita Durham

Although I was born November 30, 1972 I celebrate January 26th as my re-birth day. On that date in 2009, I had a liver transplant. It was a long haul and continues to be a daily struggle.

In March 2000, I was on a retreat with my employer, The Hill House Association in Washington, DC. I was the Program Coordinator for a youth program. While trying to sleep, I was awakened with severe pain in my stomach that felt as if I had to poo, but when I tried nothing came out. I later began to throw up acid. My supervisor rushed me to the hospital where surgeons wanted to perform emergency surgery to remove my gall bladder. My mother wanted me home so she could be close to me and I could get a second opinion. She and my family gathered money together and flew me home to Pittsburgh.

I saw a number of specialists once I returned home and they misdiagnosed me. When I became jaundiced, I had a doctor tell me it was stress. His exact words were, 'When I get stressed out, my eyes turn as yellow as bananas." It wasn't until I saw Dr. Arnold Wald that I was informed I had a condition called fatty liver. This occurs when fat is stored in the liver, causing cirrhosis. Some people call this illness non-alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver. I was told to lose weight, exercise, and eat a healthy diet. However, by this time, nearly 10 years after my first diagnosis, it was too late.

My liver had failed in August of 2008. The toxins in my body began to eat up my mind. I don't remember much but my family told me I quit feeding my daughter. I began driving recklessly so I was told not to drive anymore. My family took shifts in staying with me 24/7. I hated it! It was like I lost total independence. As the days progressed, I became weaker and weaker. I had not told my employer at a local church that I was sick when I got the job and I lost it during that time. As a matter of fact, I told no one that I was sick and made my family promise not to tell anyone as well.

After several hospital stays over the next eight months, I couldn't walk, talk, feed myself, clothe myself, care for myself or my nine year old daughter. I began hallucinating, seeing snakes dangle from the ceiling, seeing myself starring in a Tom and Jerry cartoon, and hearing voices. I was subsequently placed on the transplant list in September 2008. I was dying. In fact, during one of my hospital stays, I saw "the light." It was bright as stars in the sky. I heard voices but I was speechless. I couldn't talk back. When I came back to life that cold January morning, I was given 2 weeks to live. BUT GOD stepped in and I received my new liver January 26, 2009.

Everything was supposed to be great because - I got a new liver and a new lease on life! However, I had to get 3 emergency surgeries after the transplant, and my kidneys failed. I had to take dialysis for more than 6 months. I lost my boyfriend and several friends that "couldn't see me like that." I was okay when I was told that I couldn't have any more children because my daughter was ten years old.

In 2010, I reacquainted with my current boyfriend whom I had known growing up. We never saw love in each other until 20 plus years later. Surprise surprise! In 2011, we became pregnant and had our miracle baby Zuri Miracle Aniyah.

Life is greater after my transplant! My faith and trust in God has strengthened as well. I do fear the chances of becoming sick again. I wonder about who will take care of my children and if I will have as many complications as I had in the past.Nevertheless,with God by my side, I continue to press on.

Gavita W. Durham is a 43 year old single mother of two daughters: Maya (16) and Zuri (3). Ms. Durham's passion is helping youth and families. She has worked her adult life in social work at several non profit organizations including the Hill House Association and Catholic Charities. Gavita is the secretary for Usher Board number 1 at St. James AME Church and a devoted member of the Order of the Eastern Star Victory Chapter 97.

#NowNovember we are free to be Unpluckable,